hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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