The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
