forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
