I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
