you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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