possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize