come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
