Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
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