Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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