i already hear my dad disowning me
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
