a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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