If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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