She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
