Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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