brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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