No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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