I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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