Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Me too!
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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