The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
