do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
