My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
