but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
