Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Slut skills are useful in every country.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
