Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
