I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
