May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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