Don't you send me to vm
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
