im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam š
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being āgoodā and 10 being ābanging a studentās fatherā, how bad is it that Iām banging a studentās father?
Randomize
