I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
