I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
this will be a night to untag.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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