thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
