I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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