he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
