I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
