We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
