You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
