I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
