ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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