I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I am one with the molecules
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
