Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
