i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
