There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
