found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
