my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
