think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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