This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
