i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I love having hate sex.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
