I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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