If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
