We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
