Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
