Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
