So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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