Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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