she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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