I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
