I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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