Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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