i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
