Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
