he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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