im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
