I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
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